JedB
12-18-2008, 05:30 PM
totally ripped of from the aprilia forum, but thought it was funny enough to share..
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My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 180 in less than 10 seconds".
I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
expensive...
so, I took her to a gas station.
And then the fight started...
------------ --------- --------- --------- ------
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason,
took my order first.
"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
" Nah, she can order for herself."
And then the fight started...
------------ --------- --------- ---
My wife is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to me,
'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
I said, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And then the fight started.....
------------ --------- --------- ------
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.
I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
And then the fight started....
------------ --------- --------- --------- -----
My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big.
I told her not as much as the dress she wore yesterday
and then the fight started.....
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were
in bed.
I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started....
__________________
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 180 in less than 10 seconds".
I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
expensive...
so, I took her to a gas station.
And then the fight started...
------------ --------- --------- --------- ------
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason,
took my order first.
"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
" Nah, she can order for herself."
And then the fight started...
------------ --------- --------- ---
My wife is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to me,
'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
I said, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And then the fight started.....
------------ --------- --------- ------
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.
I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
And then the fight started....
------------ --------- --------- --------- -----
My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big.
I told her not as much as the dress she wore yesterday
and then the fight started.....
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were
in bed.
I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started....
__________________